Helping Your Kids through Your Divorce

Posted on: 31 August 2015

If you are going through a divorce, this can be a hard experience for everyone in the family. It is important that you take extra care to make sure that your children's emotional needs are met during the process. While you may have a divorce lawyer and be working through issues with your spouse, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't be business as usual around your kids. Here are four tips when it comes to helping your children throughout the duration of the divorce.

1. Map Out a Game Plan

If you and your spouse are separating, new visitation schedules will need to be set up while details for the divorce are being finalized. Work out with your ex-spouse what you feel will be the best schedule for the kids. Until things are legally established through your divorce attorneys, try to keep a fair balance for visitation so your children won't feel like they're in limbo. Sit your kids down and let them know the game plan moving forward, and even get their input if they are older.

2. Don't Talk Poorly about Your Spouse

Emotions can run high while you're going through a divorce, but you need to have a united front with your ex-spouse when it comes to interacting with your children. You may be upset about your ex-spouse's  previous or current behavior, but talking badly about him or her in front of your children is a mistake. Blow off steam away from home with a trusted friend, and not within earshot of your children.

3. Get Your Kids Counseling

Even if your divorce isn't a particularly tumultuous one, it might be good for your children to have someone to talk with outside of their family unit during a divorce. Divorce for children is emotionally straining, and your children might act out in negative ways if they aren't feeling heard. A therapist can listen to their emotional needs and even work with your family unit to instill better communication.

4. Keep Routines and Schedules

If you can keep your children's daily routine as close to normal as possible, this will help them realize that the world isn't ending because of a divorce. If both parents still attend soccer games and your children's after-school activities stay the same, this will keep things a little more normal and make your child feel more secure.

Divorce is a stressful time for everyone, but it is up to you as a parent to make this as smooth as possible for your children. They might act out and be mad at you, but try your best to be supportive. Let them know that you will always be there for them, no matter what. If you need more help and advice, find a divorce attorney at a website like